Not so long time ago, if I had told my friends I was pregnant and going to have a baby, they'd have probably thought I'm crazy. Simply because I was the wild one who never settled. Always seeking new adventures and wanting to explore the world. Fast forward and I'm now a proud mom of the cutest baby girl who's by far my sweetest adventure. And guess what, I couldn't be happier.
Even after being pregnant for 9 months and having a 3-month-old baby, I still can't believe I'm officially a MOM and responsible for another person. Party girl turned mommy; now my evenings are all about singing Russian children songs, dancing around with my newborn ballroom style, drinking camomile tea instead of G&T, pushing a stroller instead of strolling the busy streets of East Village after a night spent bar hopping and in search of pizza at 3 am. Spontaneity changed from an impromptu Puerto Rico weekend to smiles, coos and poop explosions.
Being a mom means that I love quiet time, of course when I get it, usually it is in the amount of short 30 minutes at the time, before my beloved and hungry baby demands that boob of mine. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom! It is an extremely unique experience. When after a couple of months of endless demands, your baby greets you with such a genuine smile when you enter the room... It's priceless.
Yet, it is a transition from complete freedom and independence, sharing not only your living space but your body as well. It's not easy to spend 9 months feeling like crap, dealing with hormonal swings, not being able to see your toes and oh, that extra weight! Only to find out after delivery that you lost a small portion of the weight that you so surprisingly gained (perhaps no surprise there if you'd count all deserts consumed at that time). Since the baby is already out you can't deceive yourself with a thought that she is just abnormally heavy. Becoming antisocial is another trade of pregnancy. I remember being in need of "me" time practically every day. On the positive side, it helped me to rediscover my talents for knitting and making things.
My sister keeps telling me that if you survive the first 3 months, it would get easier afterward. I guess it can't get worse than that. The first two months of being on-demand 24/7 weren't easy. However, time passes by, your bundle of joy shows first signs of routine, becomes more predictable and doesn't wake up every two hours at night. Slowly, you are trying to bring your former glamorous pre-Mommy self to the picture, only to find out that it isn't happening and you will probably not going to wear your 30 pairs of stilettos for a while. In the meantime, give applause to a man who created converse shoes, they are my best friends!
Who has time for hairstyling, makeup, and wardrobe adviser? Gone are the days of getting ready for an hour to go out, trying five different outfits and going to the hair salon, not interrupted with a video from your hubby of YOUR screaming baby. Forget about choosing what to wear, now it's great if you find a T-shirt that fits AND matches the bottoms at the same time. You can consider yourself lucky if your baby doesn't spit upon it and you can actually leave the apartment in it.
So, do I miss my pre-mommy life? Yes, some aspects of it, like going to the movies and deciding to go out at midnight, just because I feel so. Would I trade my new life and go back? Absolutely not! Motherhood has brought in me a great sense of responsibility. It's frightening and challenging to keep this tiny beauty well nourished and taken care of. Those little button eyes and a dimple worth a world to me... I know it sounds so cheesy, but after 10 weeks of knowing my baby Alexandra, I can say that she is the best thing that happened in my life. I'm off to bed now to check on my baby and who cares if it's only 11 pm and that the city doesn't sleep tonight?